Where do penguins keep their money? No where. Penguins don't have a money economy

What would George Washington do if he was able to talk to all of America? Ask them to dig him up.

Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

The only time when white and black are together When I've just taken a shit! ?ttis

Why does a woman with a little dark skin and black hair a Native American? Because she smells.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

Q: Why didn't the bunny eat the carrot? A: The bunny didn't have any carrots. Poor bunny.

Why did the prestigious college accept the Native American student? Trick question, Native Americans don't exist anymore.

Why did the Alzheimer's patient fail the history exam? I don't remember.....

a man walked into a bar, sat down and had a drink with his friends.

How do you get your dog to stop barking? You snap its neck.

A guy dared his friend to jump off a bridge for 10 bucks. His friend, fearing for his life did not jump.

What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender.

A: Can I get a tall white Russian. B: No. A: Why not? B: Because this is a Barnes and Nobles. However, we do have a Starbucks, and I can offer you a venti caramel iced coffee"

I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

how many people with ADHD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes

What happens when you give a guinea pig a cherry? He turns into satan.

Why was the old man climbing the flag pole? Because he had Alzheimer, and he was losing his grasp of reality.

What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder and rape of a 7 year old child.

whats white and sticky? a white stick

Ask me what my favorite color is. What's you favorite color? Blue.

Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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