Why did the pot-head have red eyes? He got soap in them.

Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

Why did the stop sign run a red light? Because it couldn't see its face...

A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

You know what's good for shoulder pain? If you ice on for 20 minutes then off for 20 minutes repetitively three times a day

What is stupid and looks like you? You.

An englishman, an irishman amd a scotsman were walking down the street. What a fine example of unionism

Two rolls are hanging on a wall..... On falls down and the other ones name is Erwin

What's dark, scary, and full of puppies? My van. I lied about the puppies...

If there are anti jokes why are there no uncle jokes?

An Englishman, an Irishman, a Frenchman, a Scottish man, an Australian, a German, a Spaniard, an Icelandic man, a Norwegian, a Swede, a Dane, an Italian, a Morrocan, an American, an Algerian, an Egyptian, a Syrian, an Israelite, a Chinese man, a Russian, a Japanese man, an Indian and a Brazilian all walk into a bar. It was a large bar.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Dot Com.

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side... (other side as in the afterlife, for it committed suicide by crossing the road)

A kid who lost parents is called an orphan and a wife who lost her husband is called a widow. What do you call parents who lost their child? Free on the Weekends.

Have you seen the blind man's new house? No. Neither has he.

A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and order two beers

Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

We was all sat down at the table ready to eat then Gary must've said something to Lucy because she just burst into tears and left the table.

How do you make a sandwich? Go into the kitchen and make a sandwich.

Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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