Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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A guy walks into a bar- he walks out of the bar because the beer was expensive and he didn't feel like getting drunk.

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Did u know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes by?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

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I'm so punny.

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What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

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A man questions wether a cat will always land on it's feet. He takes a cat from a pet store and tosses it into the air. The cat lands on it's feet. Startled, the cat runs into the street and gets hit by a car. The man goes to prison for theft and animal abuse.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

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A princess kisses a frog to acquire a prince. Then gets arrested for beastiality.

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John is at the movies, when he drops his cookie on the floor. A passer-bier accidentally steps on it as he's about to pick it up. "Sorry" says his man. "I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles" said Terry. The man then proceeds to murder Terry.

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A horse and a penguin and a kangaroo come into a bar and order drinks from the bartender, who later gets fired for taking acid while working.

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Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

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What does the fox say? Nothing a fox is incapable of speech.

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I am paralyzed from the neck down.

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Why did Daniel Nitz cross the road during rush hour? Because he's an idiot.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

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Whats the difference between Qantas and Malaysia Airlines? Qantas only looses money.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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Yellow People !!

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An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

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What's the difference between an airplane and a cantaloupe? What? Wow your a dumby head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops