i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

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A guy says to a palm reader "You look like you've seen a ghost. Palm reader replies "You've got cum on your hand."

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What is the sound of one hand clapping? I don't know you have a hand try it yourself lazy prick.

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Wow, fuzzy feelings, you just made my top 10.000 friends list. Jk, you my favorite girl right now, I mean my wife is always my favorite, but the kind of love I feel for you, is a completely different kind of love, I consider it the sum of who you are, and I cant say I love you the same, because it is a completely different feeling. Wow, I cant believe I am typing this on horsehead network, by the way Red, you better get out of here, or I am going to have to shut your operations down, sorry for getting serious in the middle of this, but we can meet and be friends, if you promise to take good care of my new friend (you), but getting out of this site, you and your crew. So, sex whenver you feel like and friends for life? How does that sound? I prefer long term agreements.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Chickens are not smart enough to open a gate and avoid traffic at the same time!

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What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar, but then realises he's ruining his family so he calls the rehab

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Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

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A bald man walks out a bar crying Prostate cancer

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What did the dog say to the rabbit? I quite liked Prince's first album.

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What do you call it when you almost win? You lose.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What is funnier then 25 9/11

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A priest, a nun and an Irishman walk into a bar. The barman says 'what is this, a joke?'

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How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

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I found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school. I said, "Wow, I can't believe I just found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school." Later that day, my principal gassed the kindergarten classrooms with cyanide while shouting, "GO RAIDERS!"

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What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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Q: What did the Jewish man say to the Muslim man? A: Hello, how are you today? Nice weather we're having, isn't it?

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knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

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There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

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Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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hi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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