A man walks into a pizza place and orders a pizza. When he got the pizza, he saw it had pepporonis on it. He liked that, so he ate the pizza.

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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A man walks into a bar and gets drink

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I man sees a shooting star and makes a wish. Nothing happens as shooting stars are incapable of granting wishes.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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A Jew man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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Q: What do you call a black person who got hit by a truck? A: Dead

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Guy: Hey, you want to dance with me? Girl: Who me? Guy: Nooo that bench over there...

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Why did the airplane crash? A loaf of bread was the pilot.

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You might be a redneck. Sorry.

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Q. How do you know when you've had too much too drink? A. Your dead(No because when your dead you can't think.)

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How long does it take to build a wall? it depends on how big he wall is

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? "How much?! No thanks, I think I'll shop around."

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if my evil next door neighbor is building a rocket to steal the moon with the help of 3 little girls, a grumpy old man and about 5000 small yellow poeple; what do i do? get sued for coping a copyrighted movie plot

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Shark week? More like owl week. Hoo!

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What's yellow and talks? A talking giraffe.

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Why did the man ask the IPhone to marry him He was smoking weed

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Why was the new born on the orphanage's doorstep? He was an accident.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Whats invisible and smells lile carrots? Rabbit fart

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't become rotisserie with a side of hash brown.

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Wanna hear a riddle? Womens rights

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What do you call a midget mixed with a T. rex? Dinosaurs are dead and this is a highly un probable situation. Therefore, I do not know.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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