How do you get Sally of the swing? Throw a clown at her.

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roses are red that fact is true but violets are violet not fu***** blue

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A blonde walks into a bar. She enjoys a refreshing, cold beverage with friends before returning home to sleep ahead of another day of hard work as a scientist.

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In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

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Q: What's the difference between an Indian and a Trampoline. A: You take your shoes off to jump on a Trampoline.

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What did the man say before he killed himself? I am going to kill myself

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Roses are red Violets are blue I tryed to hang myself But my neck qad to fat

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

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Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

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what's the difference between a virginia, and steve keen? a virginia is,nt a knob

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My math homework brings all the asians to the yard and their like it wasent that hard and their like it wasent that hard. comment what song it is like.

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roses are red violets are blue daffodils are yellow pansies are pink

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What's worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Two blondes walks into a tavern, which is kind of funny, since the second one should have seen it.

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So I want to write an Anti-Joke, so I go to the write your own tab and see in the security code box: Which one is a country- fried rice or fried chicken. C'mon, it's definitely fried rice.

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Why was the old man climbing the flag pole? Because he had Alzheimer, and he was losing his grasp of reality.

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

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roses are red ur face is too and if u r hot my penis is going in u

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What did the American WWII soldier say to the Feudal-era samurai? Nothing, because the two lived on completely different continents and in completely different time periods.

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Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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