What would you call Shaquille O'Neal if he was on the moon? Shaquille O'Neal, or any nickname you may have for him.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had down-syndrome

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Did you hear the one about the spoon and the dis running away while the cow jumped over the moon, IMPOSSIBLE! eating material such as the spoon and dish are inanimate objects, and cows cant jump for they weigh from 600 to 1000 lbs.

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What are the first three words in a Mexican Cook Book? Steal a chicken.

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What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

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why did hellen kellers dog run away? because if your name was awughunguh you'd run too.

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Were you born on a freeway? because thats were all accidents happen.

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How long did it take the man to swim the Atlantic? I don't know. Everybody stopped counting after a while and went on with their lives. His body was never found.

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Ask me if I'm a human. Are you a human? Yes.

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whats worse than sitting next to jack grindey nothing

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Half life 3 confirmed

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Noooooooo...

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your mom is so fat, that your father is no longer attracted to her and it is tearing your family apart.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychological disorder.

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense? You watch a suspenseful TV program and pause at the right moment.

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Whats red and smells like Bacon. Bacon

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what did the pornography filmer say to the asain man as he was having sex? im taking a highly pixelated recording of you and your partner engaging in sexual intercourse

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Every first letter of an innappropriate body part is how it actually looks like: Penis, Vagina, Boobs

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What's Great and Danish? The Great Dane Kane.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with one alive at the bottom. Whats worse than a pile of dead babies with one alive at the bottom? It having to eat its way out. Whats worse than it having to eat its way out? It comes back for seconds.

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What happened when the man asked the girl if he could borrow her pencil? Nothing, she was deaf

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What happened to the baby bird? It fell out the nest

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops