Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

how do you call someone? use a phone

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Who ever invented the "Knock- Knock jokes" should get a "No-bell prize"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man works at a Doritos factory hes worked there for a few weeks and hes made the most Doritos in his line now and the head of the company gives him a promotion he now runs his own line a few months later the head of the company bob comes back to him and promoted him again to now our friend Carl is head of the Factory about two years later bob comes to Carl and hes promoted to head of the east coast he is head of 27 Factories about a decade later bob asks Carl if when he retires Carl will take over the company and he accepts bobs offer 23 years pass and bob retires Carl is the new head of the company so he is about like 65 at this point and he wants some wine so him and his buddies go for some wine Dan says Carl this lines two long so they decide to have some soda and then Jason says this lines longer then the last one so Aiden says to Carl why don't we go get some punch so they all got into line but there was no punch line a.w. j.p.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two scuba divers are playing cards on the bottom of the ocean. One asks "have you got amy threes?" Then they both die from maintained exposure to the incredible pressure at the bottom of the sea. One left behind three children.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

So i was writing a letter to my girlfriend on valentines day right ? So this is how it goes . " hey lisa happy volentines day!" my black friend walks up to me and says" its a mightyfine day out! " The moral of the story is... Tomatoes can't fly planes

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How come Tommy isn't allowed to sing anymore? Because he has a punctured artery, collapsed lung, fractured ribcage, and a failed organ...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a black person who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Where was the Decoration Of Independence Signed? At the bottom.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats worse than finding a worm in a apple? Getting raped by a skorpian

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's blue and invisible ? Nothing.... Its impossible to be iinvisible and a color

thumb_up thumb_down -8

womans rights...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did rachels computer break ? Because she was using it in the road and got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Do you know what a rhino really is? It is a really fat and oversized unicorn

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I don't want to hear another joke about female hygiene, PERIOD! -Lets go Mets

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what has balls and is long and suckible? Spaghetti

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is smarter than a blind Mexican midget of average intelligence? A genius

thumb_up thumb_down -8

knock knock who's there ?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Human: Are you a frayed knot? Frayed knot: I'm afraid so.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops