What did the the White blood cell say to the bacteria? Nothing. Its a cell. It goes through phagocytosis.

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

Fenestrade De Riguerto sat aloft his might horse Bentereuse and called for his brigadiers. At home his wife was opening a package. 2 minutes later a sound could be heard reverberating across the countryside. It was the invasion fleet from Denarus V wiping out humanity

What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

Q: What does Jerry Sandusky and bills have in common? A: They both come in the mail

they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

Why did the woman have no boobs? Breast cancer

Potassium? K.

Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

What's the difference between a microwave and hamster? They're both furry except for the microwave

Why was Billy no mates? He had no friends.

Guess whats in my hand. Can you guess? A gun. Bam bam, you're dead. Haha

Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

Why did the chicken cross the playground. He didn't. chickens are unsanitary to have in schools

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. -Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Not Sally.

What did the captain say to the priest? We're on a boat.

bob lost his camouflage bag. he never found it.

What do you get when you cross a baby and a chainsaw? Life imprisonment.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

Roses are red Violets are blue There's nothing else I want to say

q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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