Why is my brother so bad at making anti jokes cuz HE HAS a sense of humor

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How many alzheimers patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it was tired of the people on the side she was on who told lame anti jokes, so she tried to stay away from them.

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What happened to The Guy when he got pissed on he was wet

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Why did the boy get hit by a bus? Because he was standing in front of the bus.

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An elephant walked into a pub and ordered a strong Vodka and Coke. "Long day?" asked the barman. "Yeah. Very. So many people stroking my trunk in my apartment - It's meant to be a private place. I'm scared to go back there. One child said they were going to rape me."

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Did you hear the joke about the pencil? Nevermind it was pointless.

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If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

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What goes round and knocks on windows? A paedophile.

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

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Roses are black. Violets black. Guns are black. My van is black.

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What happens when you finish a bottle of Sprite? You finish it

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what is yellow and burns? -a fire

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Why did the Titanic sink, even though people said it was unsinkable? Grit and determination.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

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what looks like a banana? a penis

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In Soviet Russia, it is usually cold throughout the year, as it is located in a colder region of the planet.

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Why was the Muslim crying? Because his brother got hit by a bus.

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What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

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Why did Jimmy's grandma never come home ? Her liver failed .

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What's the best way to make people notice you? Begin a cult that follows some crazy religious division and go on mass murdering sprees, looting, murdering, and raping everything that moves. Your prime targets should be schools, orphanages, and hospitals (maternity wards for bonus points). Eventually, walk up to the FBI unarmed and have them capture you. Then demand that you get interviewed, as you have instructed your followers that if you don't get to speak on public television, they will bomb multiple major cities. When they put you on TV, simply stare at the camera and say: "Senpai. The time has finally come for you to notice me." Then, because you are a cruel, heartless bastard with no morals whatsoever, have your men bomb the major cities anyway. Have fun!

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The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

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What is an antijoke? Not Knock

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How many apples does it take to keep the doctor away? 1 if you throw it hard enough! haha

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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