A man with a barbie doll walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says "I bet you $100 that I can turn this barbie doll into a beautiful lady". The bartender laughs and says "Okay." The man takes out a brush and begins brushing the doll's hair. Seconds later the man has a seizure and falls to floor a dies. It turns out he was a drug addict and had a fatal over dose. The bartender never got his $100.

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Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

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Today i decided to burn calories, so I grabbed my lighter from the counter and put it in my pocket and proceeded to the treadmill.

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What did the pencil say to the other pencil? Nothing, pencils do not have the ability to speak as they are an object.

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how do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The fridge is on its side, the door is torn off, and the ruined food scattered all over the floor. Not to mention there is an elephant in your kitchen.

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roses are red violets are blue do i care? no.

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What's Black, white, green, and red? To bloody zebras fighting over a pickle

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This is a poem The End

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A man once had a monkey, and it made him very happy. then one day, his monkey ran away. So the man was very sad and screamed, "I knew i should have broken the monkey's legs!!"

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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Once a upon a time there were three kittens that die, the end :D

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well why wouldn't it?

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Roses are brown I likes clouds This joke isn't funny so don't laugh

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Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

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What do you call a white man takeing orders from a black man? Batman and robin

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What did the sad man say to the happy man? He didn't say anything he was so sad he killed himself.

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Why could'nt the Jew drink milk? He was laptose intolerant.

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What do you get a Jewish boy for Christmas? Nothing he died in 1943!

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roses are red violets are blue im not good at poems so fuck you too.

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A man walks into a bar... He has a severe drinking problem, and his wife weeps for him

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Q: What do you get when you mix root beer with a cloud? A: Nothing, you idiot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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