What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas. A new vest and a puppy because his father got a promotion and a much higher pay raise.

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A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? El-if-iknow

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why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

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Why is did the blonde cross the road? She was trying to catch the chicken.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the elephant.

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roses are red violets are blue i take pleasure in the simple things in life as i have nothing else left to live for

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Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

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YOU'VE WON A FREE IPAD!!!!! PRESS CTRL+W TO CLAIM YOUR PRIZE!

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Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

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What did the gay man receive for christmas? AIDS

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What do anti-jokes and a can of corn have in common? Both can be stored indefinitely and accessed and enjoyed at will.

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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whats the difference between kroush and a bucket of shit? the bucket

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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An Anthony eats a juicy pickle.

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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Q. Why did the man get an email? A. Because he checked his inbox.

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How long did the Hundred Years' War last? 116 years.

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Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing... She had no arms. Knock knock, who's there... Not Sarah. Face Face, who's there... Probably Sarah.

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Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

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What happened when the boy got caught with his hand in the cookie jar? He gets shot in the face by Santa.

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Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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