Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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two peanuts walked into a bar they both sat down and immediately left once they found out the bar was serving peanuts.

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Why did the boy's house get destroyed? It was bombed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ( The chicken says) I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having morals questioned.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

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I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

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why did the baseball player strike out? he forgot the bat

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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Whats the difference between wayne rooney and shrek? Well, one, shrek is fictional. Two if he was fictional,he is green. Wayne rooney is not green. Three wayne rooney plays for a football team, surely shrek has no idea what football is. The list goes on.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alan okay come in

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Looks like this is a *puts on sunglasses* Pair of sunglasses

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Guess what? I like trains.

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You know what's worse than having friends with a lake houses Not being invited to their lake house...

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The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

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why are there so many peadofiles in the world? sexy kids.

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How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

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What did the famer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?!?!

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What do you call a black man in church? Religious

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Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

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Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

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What did the black man say when a blond walked into the bar? " Hi Molly"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops