Yo momma so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Chins in a phonebook? I don't get it.

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Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Because he always increases the treble input in his songs, and he doesnt have a rod.

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Why did the slut suck a dick? Because she's a slut.

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What's worse than seeing Helen Keller behind the wheel of a car? Being run over by Helen Keller.

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My mom always said that jumping in a pile of leaves was fun! That was before a 20 foot long iguana bit her head off...

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A man said hello to a woman. He was italian...

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Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your dick taste like shit.

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

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what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

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how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Your Adopted Deal With It!!!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

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*The doctor walks in* Knock knock. Whos there? Doctor. Doctor Who?

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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Q. what happend to the guy who walked by an alley in new york? A. he got beat up by a robber wich took hes money, cellphone, keys and his abillity to walk.

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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why did the man cross the rode? He didn't he got hit by a bus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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