A black man in a hooded sweatshirt is sprinting down a back alley. He is trying to get into better shape by exercising and knows a shortcut to his house.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have down syndrome, my favorite color is potato

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When did Dom become so brave? When he made friends

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you know why they're called ear wigs, right? cause they go in your ears! then they wig out? no, they kill you.

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A Jew, Muslim and Mexican all die of cancer

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Knock knock. Who's there? Josh. Lettuce who? I didn't say "lettuce"... I said Josh.

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Why did the girl fall of the swing? I hit her with an axe.

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Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

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Why do Mexicans always have heart burn? Because the food is spicy.

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I put the STD in stud now all i need is U

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Polly went out for a fag. Then she was raped.

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Whats the difference of how a hot blonde and an ugly red head got in to the same collage with a sex addicted dean? Nothing they were both very smart inteligent women with respectables GPA

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

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Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

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Q:what is long ,black and red but smells like poo.? A:poo from someone dying of bowel cancer.!

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How do you tell the difference between Lila and derrek ashmore? Oh wait they both have vaginas

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What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

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Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Whats better then free candy from a guy in a van? Trying to find his lost puppy so his kids don't cry.

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Seriosly. too much sex again?

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What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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