Did you hear the one about the guy who couldnt find his shoes? No? ok ill talk to someone who will get the reference

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A horse walks into the bar and says "why the long face?" The bartender replies "hey! I was supposed to say that!"

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Why couldn't little Billy fall asleep. Because Billy didn't have any counting skills to be able to coins sheep

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream. Because he got hit by a bus

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Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

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How do u turn on a lamp? Flip the switch

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A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

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whats worse than one bee sting? two bee stings whats worse than two bee stings? the halocaust whats worse than the halocaust? three bee stings

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesnt rhyme And your entire family died trying to fly to your house for Christmas. They crashed into a orpanage for death children. There were no survivors.

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what did the bus driver say to the black man when he got on the bus? nothing, carl has become very anti-social since his brother died

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To men walk into a bar. One says to a paying customer, "Mind if I sit here?" and the other man inquires the bartender about so.e fancy drink that takes five minutes to prepare. After 23 minutes, naturally, they left at exactly the same time and they went home to their wife and kids. They both share a wife and kids.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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What do you call a big house full of dead people? My family

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What does Jason say when he rages on cod ? I hope your family gets slaughtered in front of him ..

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

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Roses are red violets are blue. I'm falling in love with you.

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your mama's so fat... that's it

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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How do you drown a blonde? hold her head down until she stops breathing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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