Why did the President fall down? He was assassinated. -mattobrado

how do you make Will Smith cry? cut off his toes and fingers.

woman's rights

Whats worse than a bee sting? -Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? -The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? -Three bee stings.

Get a life besides thumbing down statements telling you advice.........

An alien, a midget, and a Jew walk into a bar... I forget the rest but your mom's a whore

Snape dies. ^ Spoiler Alert tarelona major

What do you call a girl with an iq of 13 Dead

Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

What did Osama bin Laden say to Jesus? Nothing. He's in hell.

How do you make an elephant float? Who cares?

A blonde, a brunette and a red head are having a discussion on current issues. The brunette says she would like to see improvements in the environment. The red head says she would like to see the economy prosper. The blonde says she has to take a poop.

A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

Why were our jokes deleted? Because it's anti-joke.

How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None they would just beat the room for being black.

Why did the teenager take a shower? Because she was brutally raped by a serial rapist and felt dirty. Unfortunately for her, she was unaware that she was washing off the prints from her body and the rapist was never found

A man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink Bartender: Why the long face Man: My wife was recently killed in a horrible car accident Bartender: Oh my god, I'm so sorry Man: Jks I have AIDS

What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

Q:Why don't black people go on cruises? A:They already fell for that trick once.

i killed a blind guy when he wasnt looking

Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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