What did the cat say to the chicken? Meow

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Roses are red, my binoculars are blue. When your window's open, i'm watching you.

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

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Q:What did the boy do when his girlfriend cheated on him? A:He broke up with her because cheating is wrong and he deserves better.

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knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

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Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

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a guy walks in to a bar in iraq. 10 people died because of it

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Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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So these two guys walk into a bar... Well, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mother a whore.

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Whats funnier than a guy in a wheelchair? A guy on the floor squirming to get back in his wheelchair.

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Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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what is worse finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grub in your apple.

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what do you call a dead man rolling down a hill on fire, being shot in the head, and strapped to a bomb Dead

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Q:Why did the black man fall down? A: he got hit in the face by a refrigerator

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Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

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Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

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Q: Where does Cher sit? A: I have no idea.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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