Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Wanna hear a joke? Niklas Bendter being good at soccer. Wanna hear a funnier joke? Your Mom Wanna hear the funniest joke?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock Whos there? Jason Oh, ok come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you get if you convict a white man of murder? A black man in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a movie theater.and attempts to parate a film. He is then caught by employees of the theater and now faces fines and possible jail time for his actions.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Suzie get raped? because she was out past her bedtime. and the morale to this story is that its funny to be raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

thumb_up thumb_down +10

so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock Who's there? A fireman. You're house burned down.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the boy crying? Because him and his sister were sent to an orphanage.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Man: Am i going to be alright? Doctor: No, you're going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why couldn't the farmer drive his tractor He had no arms why didn't he have arms Because he was a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Remember that comic blooper? Captain America fighting some dude: Okay buster only one of us is getting out of here alive! Next panel: Captain is kicking his foe and yelling AND IT WONT BE MEEEEEEEE! ...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a black man a asian man and a mexican man? 3 people

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops