What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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So my wife was in the kitchen, and I asked her to make me a sandwich. She agreed. I then volunteered to make her one. Lesbian relationships are amazing.

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How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

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2 guys at a funeral. "did you know the girl?" asks one of the guys. "No" replies the other. "Me neither."

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this isn't meant to be a joke, but just letting all of you know, inside jokes don't count and kony jokes aren't funny

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What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

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How did Allen Iverson compose one of the most well known interviews of all time? Practice.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas many gift card to stores he liked

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because It was bionically fused to the chicken.

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What tastes worse than dog shit? White dog shit.

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Well it all started when 7 did something horrible to 8 and 9. Always being used for various things and never getting credit, 7 finally snapped one day at the office. He went home for lunch, which was uncharacteristic for him. He came back with a large duffle bag and a trench coat on. He walked into the the middle of the office and opened the bag and trench coat. The events that followed are now known as the office slaughtering of 1992. 7 ended up gutting 8 alive and eating its intestines. 9 was forced to watch then inch by inch was cut up. His heart was ripped out and shown to him before he died. The body was then thrown into acid, and 7 hung himself with piano wire, but lived. 7 also has herpes and 6 doesnt want anything to do with that shit.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in an open hole Poor body disposal practice

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Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great height she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

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Knock Knock. Erm, sorry to be weird, but can you perhaps use the doorbell, because it's new and has a novelty chime. I'm proud of it and get a little chuckle everytime it rings in the vain hope that, perhaps you, the visitor, may also find it entertaining. Who's there anyway?'

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I like my women like I like my coffee... In a cup.

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Three black men was in a car. They were going on holiday.

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Elise's parents have four children. The first's name is April, the second's name is May, the third's name is June. What's the fourth children's name ? July. Elise is adopted, and thus does not count.

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what did the fish say when i threw it at the wall. Ouch. Then the world ended because it caused a ripple in the fabric of reality.

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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-How do fit an elefant in a refrigerator? Open the door and shove it in -How do u fit a giraffe in a refrigerator? Take the elephant out and put the giraffe in -If the king of the jungle has a meating which animal doesn't come? The giraffe because hes in the refrigerator -How do u cross a lake where aligators and snakes live? U swimm because they're at the meeting

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What's worse than eating a baby? Eating two babies filled with maggots.

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25

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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