I woke up this morning and ran five miles. I am proud of myself for engaging in such a healthy lifestyle.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a human being who will understand and laugh at a joke, while a pizza will just sit there because it is only a delicious thing that people eat.

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What did the boy say before he died? I'm dying.

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Why should you never attempt to rob Chuck Norris? Because he will beat you up as he knows self defense.

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HOREY SHIT!! OMFG!! I win? Yeah I think so.. Wait. Why am I talking to myself.. Aww not again.. My doctor warned me about this.. D:

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream. Because he got hit by a bus

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Did you hear the one about the guy who couldnt find his shoes? No? ok ill talk to someone who will get the reference

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Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and not being funny.

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

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Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

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Why did the boy let the falling brick hit him in the head? He had no legs, so he could not move

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What's funny about 3 black men in a car going off a cliff? Nothing. They were my friends.

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Want to know how the dyslexic man with no left arm and no left leg? All left

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What can you tell by a black guy who walks into a bank with a ski mask on? His face was severely disfigured in a horrific accident.

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okay so three men are in a plane ( this is the type of plane you can open the windows) so the stewardess goes up to the first man he asks for a gun she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window he confused but he does it anyways the stewardess goes to the second man he asks for a beer she agrees but he has to throw it out the window hes confused but he does it anyways the stewardess walks up the the third man he asks for a pack of C4 she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window without hesitation he gets it and throws it out the window. so they land and the first man sees a women crieing i was walking down the street and got hit in the head by a gun and arested for being armed the second man sees a hobo cheering loudly hes says he was sleeping in the ally and it started raining budlight the third man shes a women hysterically laughing she says i was going to work and spilled my coffe then my house blew up!

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Ben Wuz here was the funniest Hahahahaha

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what did the bus driver say to the black man when he got on the bus? nothing, carl has become very anti-social since his brother died

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have u been drinking cannabel soup because you........ahhhhh!!!!! why are you trying to eat me!

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What did the woman say when her boyfriend asked her to marry him? Idk my bff jill.

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haiku for you ladies and gents My mother once said, "Slow and steady wins the race" She died in a fire.

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A boy's parents buy him a Wii for Christmas. The boy hangs himself the next day because you need arms to play Wii.

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How can you tell a baby lost it's voice? It doesn't scream when you staple it to a ceiling fan and turn it on.

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Q: what is blue and has no legs A: A crippled boy painted blue

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Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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