Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

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An Anthony eats a juicy pickle.

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Wht did noah7262 cross the road? to abandon his friends and play Modern Warfare 3 on xbox live. asshole.

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Q: Whats a spanish teacher who cant speak spanish A: duhh. it called an english teacher

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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caoimhin is a dorty carrot

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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I heard a joke one time about a Rabbi, a Priest, and a little boy. It wasn't funny.

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What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

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Why does Rebecca Black like Friday? Because it's the start of the weekend

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad at making jokes And your a jew

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Whats the difference between a bong and a nigger? My bong works

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what is worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

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The funniest thing happened the other day, it was like one went like this, and the other went like that, and then everyone laughed... ...Oh, its one of those where you would have had to be there to see how funny it was.

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What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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Why did you mom shop at Wal-Mart? She had a coupon

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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