- Anti Joke

Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. On its way there, he got hit by a bus.

Did you know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes

What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas. A new vest and a puppy because his father got a promotion and a much higher pay raise.

My daughter got a kinder surprise with cool toy today..... i killed her i didnt even want the toy

Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

What do you call an elephant mixed with a rhino? A freak.

Q: What did the boy say to the girl? A: Wanna go to homecoming?

Why do they call Jean a redneck? Because her neck was red from being in the sun for so long.

A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? Ten babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

Q. What has two legs and is covered in red stuff? A. Half a dog

Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo "who"? Boo Radley. I live down the street.

How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit her in the face with a ax!

Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

Barack Obama is a good president.

So a baby seal walks into a club.

Mary had a little lamb, But it couldn't stop her from being raped.