what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

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Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

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Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, hes allergic to it.

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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Why did the man hit the little boy? His brakes failed.

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Whats Stupider than john? Nothing.. he's certifiably retarded

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Q: What's worse than tripping down the stairs in front of a crowd of people? A: The bombing of Hiroshima

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why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

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A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

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what looks like a bananna but is blue a blue bananna

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A man is in the desert and he finds a lamp, he rubs the lamp and out comes a genie! The genie says "I can grant your three wishes, for releasing me from the lamp" The man says "I wish I didn't have AIDS".

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Why did the blonde leave the lamp on while sleeping? Because it helps to see in case you need to get up in the middle of the night. YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO SAY "BECAUSE THEY'RE A LIGHT SLEEPER!" MUAHAHAHAHAHA

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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Red my dear, we are no exceptions.

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what did the n i g g e r with alzheimers say to the c h i n k? 9/11 was the funniest fake joke since the holocaust and 9/11 and the holocaust and 9/11... and... what?

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I viewed the terms of service and did not agree to them.

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a man walked into a bar today he suffers from depression from his wife leaving him and taking custody of the children on the grounds that he is an alcoholic and is unfit to raise children

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Why did the retarded man fail his math test? He didn't study.

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Why lets go Mets? Lets go Yankees!

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have Alzheimer's Hey i just met you

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whats white and black, and red all over, kiren poping jacob cherry

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"So, what do you fancy doing tonight?" "Does it matter? We'll end up doing what you want anyway..."

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Son: Mommy can I have some cookies? Mom: Sure, they're on the top shelf! Son: But I don't have any arms! Mom: No arms, no cookies!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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