Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the Muslim cross the road? He was on fire and he needed to get to the lake on the other side of the street to put himself out.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the naked blonde crossed the road? Because she a man

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Where is aodhan's ma? Jail, she was cought with a bag full of the white powder.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is your name? My name is Jeff

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +3

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar. He then says "ow".

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the serial killer need the knife? He needed to butter his bread

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do you call a blind man who buys a caller i.d.? handicapped

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what did hitler say when the allies invaded germany i did NAZI that coming

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Id like to apologize for the one below (near the end yeah at the very end yeah that near you fuck!) When I said I give candy to etc etc I did mean I do not give candy to... Well... Nothing male, and I do not apologize, thank you. Shortie: Me as a Sociopath vs Sociopath with faster gunplay: So A Sociopath moved into my neighborhood, he arrived at my place and said hey you? You the sociopa... "BOOM" Moral: Shoot first, listen later... And if you hear something keep shooting... Anyway that was not the Sociopath but I got him eventually.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

whats long, fat, and people love it in their mouth? blunts.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is worde then swallowing a slipper? Swallowing a granny to catch the slipper

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops