Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

Why couldn't the blonde count to 70? because 69 was a mouth full:)

what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey, I just met you

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

human centipede

Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

Why couldn't the girl find a date to the prom? Because she was really, really ugly.

What's red and can't find a family? A fire hydrant

"HEY DUMB FU** THIS STUFF IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY!!!" SAID SIMON COWELL!!!

Two guys walk into a bar.... OUCH

How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen? Probably around seven.

Why did the chicken cro- Oh. He got run over.

What's brown an sticky Shit

I have a very serious problem with my narcolepsy. I occasionalolahdf;honainbirgnipqgierngiaqbhgpqruiph

knock knock whos there **gunshot ...man that gun show next door is annoying

Two fish are swimming and hit a concrete wall...dam

How did the old man die? He was shot after eating a rather large watermelon while skydiving out of a helicopter, boob fighting 5 toddlers.

An anti-Semite, a Jew and an American walked into the bar. The barman said: "Hi, Sara".

One day a kid said to his mom: "Mom, I painted the bed sheets with your lipstick". So his mom got mad.

Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...