Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

The motto of those who live in the Bible Belt; "The Bible Belt: Where being obese is 'Genetic' but being homosexual is a 'lifestyle choice'."

What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Wally.

KCLTLMBAIMWSSHTCAWGAHW

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

What do a priest, a rabbi, and an asian have in common? They all don't know each other.

Why can't Molly ride her bike? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Molly.

What is your name? My name is Jeff

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

Yo mama's so ugly, one day she looked in the mirror and her face was a wreck. Later that day she committed suicide.

What is black and white and red all over? Zebra domestic violence isn't funny.

What's Funny and has two Wheels A kids falling off his bike

What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

*there was a tv sitting on the side of the road..* person 1: hey why doesn't that tv work? person 2: because it's broken?? person 1: no..because its not plugged in!

Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

When life gives you lemons you are like "how did I get these lemons?"

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was walking.

knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

How do you kill a mime? Shoot him in the face.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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