Who is the dumbest person on the entire internet? Shortpoet-GTD

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if a tree falls in A Forest, would Robert Smith hear?

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What's long and black? A long and black object.

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What did the Brontosaurus say to the Triceratops? Nothing. Neither of them have ever existed.

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In a joke book: So a man walks into a bar. Suddenlly the universe around the author crack. Unable to sustain the infinite potential of punchlines, the author tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

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Roses are red,violets are blue I've got aids & now so do you Merry Christmas

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

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A man walks into a boar. The tusked beast accepts his apology.

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Why is the sky blue? Time to get a watch.

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What happens when a bunch of animals break into your house... they eat you.

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Q: What did the homeless man say when he was mauled by a bear? A: Ouch.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the white man say to the black man at midnight? It's really dark out.

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How did the mexican cross the border? He went through border patroll, and then later became a legal citizen of North America

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Its over 9000 penises and they're all raping little children!!!!!

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It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.

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Roses are red, You're a failed abortion, Happy Valentines Day. :D

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What did the cow say to the dog? Moo

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why was the boys t.v broken? because he through it out the window

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Just so you are warned here folks, some of the jokes down here are really nasty, like you know... Antijokes... But luckily you got my family friendly stories about sex, incest, panties, grenades, dripping Meows, yeah... Regular family show stuff... IT HAPPENS TO US ALL! Right? Please tell me right? Riiight? Right? Yes? Phew, okay, for a moment I actually thought you where gonna tell me I was normal...

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man in a gorilla suit with a banana.

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Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops