What do you call a dolphin mixed with a cheetah? I have no idea I was hoping you knew.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red Roses are white and I one time saw a purple one

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a man with bananas in his ears? A doctor. He is clearly mentally unstable, and probably in pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Disreguard Females Aquire Currency

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Wanna hear a joke? Niklas Bendter being good at soccer. Wanna hear a funnier joke? Your Mom Wanna hear the funniest joke?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a fridge painted red and brown? A fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You take a survey of all citizens that live in the country of Mexico, find the wealth of each individual person, and whoever has the most money is the richest person in Mexico.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why aren't black people real? they are. just because they are less visible at night makes no difference.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what did the man say to the other man he bumped into? sorry. and they never saw eachother again

thumb_up thumb_down +13

tiger woods played golf against peyton manning and yet tiger still cant win.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +13

a brick cheats on another brick the brick finds out and dose nothing because it is a brick

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops