How do you get your dog to stop barking? You snap its neck.

YOU KNOW WHO ELSE LOVED AND NURTURED ME THROUGH MY CHILDHOOD YEARS? MY MOM.

Q: Why didnt jim win the race ? A: Because he swalowed his tounge.

What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

what dyu call a bunch of white guys on a bench? the NBA

Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

Why was the girl crying? Because I raped her

Q: What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? A: Ten babies nailed to eleven trees.

Knock knock. Who's there? Ed. Ed who? Ed Begley Jr.

Human: Are you a frayed knot? Frayed knot: I'm afraid so.

Why did the dish run away from the spoon? None of them ran neither one has legs

Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy wuzzy had cancer.

What do you get when you mix a donkey with a bungee cord? My bouncy ass

"Do you like pie?" "No." "Do you like blueberries?" "No." "I have something you won't like." "Is it a blueberry pie?" "No, I shagged your wife last night".

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

Why was the cookie sad? It had just been eaten and is currently disintegrating in the hydrochloric acid of someones stomach.

What did Tim's grandma get him for his birthday? Nothing, because Tim's grandma died in a car accident 2 years ago

i saw amango it splootered

what's the difference between a virginia, and steve keen? a virginia is,nt a knob

antonio has a penis head.lol

Bob loves Anne. Anne loves Bob. No one cares.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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