do you have snow in your vagina? because i am going to plow you

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Did you know that Helen Keller had a swing set? neither did she.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? On average 2,950, however, this has not been properly tested due to obvious reasons.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Why did Stephen hawking walk into A bar? He didn't. This situation is impossible considering the fact that he suffers from a horrible condition causing terrible muscular paralysis preventing him from walking.

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Q - What is worse than a nerdy joke on anti-jokes with a lot of big words in it? A - Although I get scared when i see big words, the page long jokes are probably worse

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How did the girl cross the road? --she didn't, she died trying because she was blind and didn't see the sign that said "Don't Walk"

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A man walks into a bar. His family has died in a tragic accident and he is trying to drink down the pain.

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roses are red hula is hula when i walk in cass i see a big tula

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Where do babies come from? You fathers penis.

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Why do people make jokes about cancer? Oviously to get thier ass kicked!!! -BY:KOLBY HOOKS

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how do u get a bonar? u look at your mum!!

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Why wasn't the white guy voted for president? He had down syndrome

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what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

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Why did the cab driver talk about the Holocaust? Because he began to shart his pants while singing pocket full of sunshine as a royal blue pancake swerved across the terrain.

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Sometimes you have to stop and smell the roses. Unless they are next to the trashcan where you put your little sisters diapers

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A witch walks into a bar and orders a drink. She gets her drink and proceeds to have a great time.

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

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One linners President Kinnedy did you like the parade President Lincon did you like the play

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LIKE FOR GANGNAM STYLE. DISLIKE FOR JUSTIN BIEBER LETS SEE WHO WINS

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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