If a Cheetah and Usain bolt raced in the Olympics who would win? Obviously Usain hes black and cheetahs can't perform in the olympics

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Q: a black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? A: The mexican. They're going to the bookstore to get some books.

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What's good about sex with twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

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roses are red, violets are blue, Hitler killed 6.6 million jews.

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Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

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Why did the baby stop crying? I hit him with a brick.

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What did the convicted pedophile do to the ten year old boy? He molested him.

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whats worse than ur granny dying? uhhh...actually theres nothing is worse

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Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Because he always increases the treble input in his songs, and he doesnt have a rod.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Fetus Blood. Due to the low concentration of iron, it gives it an aroma of paint.

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Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? A tree stapled to a baby

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i was quite upset when my girlfriend called me a peodifile, what does she know, shes only 6.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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Hello Braydon I am at home where are you?

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems have endings

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a horse walks into a bar. the barman asks "why the long face". not understanding human language, the horse takes a shit, neighs then leaves

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Why is Jesse so fat? A horse, Because a cow gives milk thus creating pee wee Herman to jack off at an astonishing speed

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Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing? A. She had no arms Q. Why didn't she get back up? A. She had no legs Q. Why did no one help her up? A. She had no friends Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing A. She had no arms You: knock knock Other person: who's there? You: not Lucy

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why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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