I had a submarine.... once

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What's long and black? A long and black object.

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what is the opposite of underpants? overpants

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man said to the bartender "I'll have a H2O, please." His friend said "Yeah, I'll have a H2O too." The bartended wasn't an idiot and was aware that he was in a bar, not a science lab, and handed them both a bottle of H2O. His friend still died.

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Why dont you ever see any black mermaids? Mermaids dont exist.

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

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Q Whats the difference between a pich fork with watermelons and a pitch for with dead babies stuck on. A The pitchfork with the dead babies were severly shot in the kidneys and then the heart. Blake

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What's hanging by a rope from the tree in my backyard? A tire swing.

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Roses r red, Violets r blue, u think id eva cry ova u?? I told u i luvd u, n u believed it true... Well guess wat baby? U got played 2 B)

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What was the motto of the Holocaust? Yolo.

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What's the difference bettween the holocaust and a bee, 6 million jews died during the holocaust. Bees make honey.

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't.

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DEAD ON KANE ITS BEEN ALL YOU ABD CAOIMHIN

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Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

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Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

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stinky boner

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

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What is green and fuzzy and can kill you when it falls out of a tree A pooltable

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What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? An effect of an overcrowded theme park

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Two gophers are in a tank One of them says how the heck do you drive this thing?

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If you die, and have 5 cents in your pocket, does the toast still land jelly side down?

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What's funnier than 3 midgets in a treehouse? A talented comedian.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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