Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

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Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

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What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

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Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

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What did one cat say to the other cat? --------- Meow --------- What's pink and fluffy? --------- Pink fluff --------- What's green and yellow? --------- Grass. I lied about the yellow part.

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What's red and can sing? Elmo

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What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

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Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Scientists are still unable to fully understand the brain functioning of chickens enough to comprehend their motives for doing such a thing.

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How hot was the blonde considering she was in Africa for the first time and it was 103 degrees, very

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he was applying for a job that's building was located on the other side of the street.

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whats funny about the klu klux klan? nothing is funny at all about it because they cause pain and suffering to afircan amaricans and other ethnic groups.

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

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roses are red violets are blue maskrosor are gula

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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