Why was the man lying under a sheet. Because he was dead.

"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

Yo mamma is SO fat, she is classified as fat.

Who doesn't love finding money in your pocket when you go to put your pants on? a rape victim

Why didn't suzzana go to school on Monday?? Because it was Sunday...I lied about it being monday

What is terrible and doesn't exist? This joke's punchline,

What are the first three words in a Mexican Cook Book? Steal a chicken.

why was the little boy crying? He had dead mice shoved up his asshole.

Q: What did one water bottle say to another water bottle? A: Nothing. Water bottles are inanimate objects and are thus unable to communicate.

Where did the kid go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

Knock knock! Go away. I'm busy masturbating, and it would be extremely awkward if you were to entire my residence at this time. Please return at a later hour.

A black guy. A Jew and a dyke died in a plane crash!:) Who was flying? ....why would you be wondering that when you should be wondering why i put a smile-face beside the details of the crash..

A dog walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer The barman replies : Woof Woof

What's worse than finding a worm on your apple? Trench foot on your eyebrow.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. At what point would a chicken consciously know it was crossing a road.

tea with milk?

Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

What's worse than tripping over your shoelace? Watching your mother get her tits cut off with a chainsaw then getting ripped apart and eaten alive by cannibals

Why did the chicken cross the road? It's hard to tell, but i could really use a cigarette.

23 convicts were showering. One of them dropping his soap bar. The person next to him picked it up, and the one who dropped it said thanks.

Why did the vulture cross the road? To get to the pile of dead babies left over from the Holocaust.

Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

Q: whats funnier than watching a black man and a midget fight? A: anything technically, your opinion

Why did billy go to the beach? To spread his moms ashes on the sand.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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