What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

A horse walked into a bar. The bar was part of the fence he was enclosed by.

What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

Why did the Muslim cross the road? He was on fire and he needed to get to the lake on the other side of the street to put himself out.

What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

Jim: Why did the chicken cross the road? Bill: Why? Jim: To get to the other side! Bill: I don't get it Jim: It's an anti-joke, because you expect a punchline but there is no punchline, you get it? Bill: Hold on, let me tickle myself.......oh okay now I get it hahahahaha!

Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

roses are red violets are black,why is your chest as flat as your back :O

Scream went into the bar. The bartender says," Why the long face?" "..." *facepalm*

Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

- Mommy look, I built a sandcastle! - Who cares, you have cancer.

Why did the chicken croos the road? He was battling severe depression at the time. His alcoholism was tearing his family apart, he was declining in job performance and his boss threatened to fire him several times. I guess at that point he just decided to end it all. It was horribly tragic, policemen knocking on the door of his wife's chicken roost and informing her of the bad news. As soon as she heard, she rushed to the scene, only to see his mangled body spread across the street, intestines falling out. They held a closed casket funeral. Formal, all black. It was raining by the time the casket was brought to the cemetery to be buried. She hasn't stopped crying since. His children ask her, where's dad, but all she can do is weep. Suicide is bad, kids

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

http://media.photobucket.com/image/whale%20penis/marcus1v0/whale_penis2.jpg

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

Q:Whats worse than stubbing your toe? A: Watching a terrorist saw your dads arm off.

I have a little dog. She likes being tossed high into the air. I need a new little dog as the last one was caught by a gust carrying here over the sound-dividing highway wall and dropped into traffic.

Dylan Hodge's mother touches her own butthole at night. Joshua Brown's sister rubs Josh's earlobes passionately. Brock is a fag. Jacob is Awesome. Daniel THINKS he's awesome. Jamie kills everyone. Apart from Jacob.

What did the racist black man say to the white man? Nothing they both died in a car accident.

Who has two thumbs and is happy? This girl! You're a girl?

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Some chocolate and a new DVD.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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