Why was the cat in the bag? Because it's owner was abusive and put it in there.

Why did the chicken cross the road ( The chicken says) I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having morals questioned.

White NBA players.

why did bill gates sue his banks? Because he can

What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, oceans don't have hands to wave either

What is white but you can't see it? A bottle of milk around the corner.

What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

The 80's called. They need their couch back.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Because her mother inadvertently left the gate open while gardening.

What's the difference between a ferrari and pile of dead babies? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

A man agreed with a camel. The camel didn't agree. ... (This joke does only make sense in the Dutch language.)

What do you call a deer with only one leg? A one legged deer. What do you call a deer with one leg, one eye and lives in Rome? Still a one legged deer.

Name three similarities between racism and sexism I, S and M

What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Nothing. Blackberries grow on bushes and I do not condone hate crimes.

What did the dealer say to the addict? Sup.

A lesbian couple, a straight couple, and a gay couple walk into a bar. They enjoy their drinks and camaraderie.

So, a man walks into a bar. Suddenly, the universe around him cracks, unable to sustain the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

So, there's a man and a bar. He gets a hacksaw.

How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Knock Knock Who’s there? Your son Your son who? Your son who’s sick of having a paranoid mother who won’t just open the door!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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