why did the plane crash ? Because a loaf of brad was flying it, and Loaves of bread don't fly planes

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

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A white guy drives to Home Depot in order to get supplies for remodeling his kitchen. He notices a few Mexicans standing around outside. He decides not to racially profile them and continues on his own business.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the engine wasnt working.

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Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

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roses are gray, violets are grayer, f*ck this poem and listen to the slayer.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. ;)

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Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

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Women's rights

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"DUDE! THERE IS A KNIFE IN YOUR LEG!" "SERIOUSLY!"

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

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What did the no-arm, no-leg, paraplegic orphan with cancer get for christmas? Pregnant.

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Yo mom is so stinky that when she gets in a room every one leaves the room

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What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? Pizza does not scream when it goes in the oven.

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Q: Why didn't the bunny eat the carrot? A: The bunny didn't have any carrots. Poor bunny.

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Why did single women didn't want any babies for? because of Ice Ice Baby.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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a man about 65 years old is tired with his life. he begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. whil on his way to commit suicide, he comes across a man with a magicul offer. the magical man is offering to grant him the power to fly. although, the magical man wants something in return. the 65 year old man, says to himself, "i have nothing to lose". so he gives the magical man all his money and possesions he has with him. with a flick of his wrist, the magical man says, "ok, you have now been granted the power to fly". the 65 year old man, overjoyed of how he has the ability to fly runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. too bad the magical man was really male prostitute broke out of money and tricked the 65 year old man into beleiving that he had magical powers to grant him the power to fly. the 65 yeard old man died from impact and the male prostitute walked away with a wallet full of money.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Roses are red violets are red I think I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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What's love like? Some people say it's like a lotus flower, others say it's like an orchid... Personally I'd like to say it's like a fire at the bottom of you're soul-- like when people sin and go to hell... that fire burns forever???

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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