A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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what's black, white and doesn't float? the titanic

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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Who row's? •Liam Findlay

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Roses are nice, violets are fine, ill be the 6, if you be the 9!

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why was the blond so easy,because ALL blonds are whores.

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A man walked into a bar. He has been in a coma for six weeks now.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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Why couldn't Billy eat his dinner? Because a black man amputated his hands.

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Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

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Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Why can a black man beat a white man in basketball? They are generally better at basketball Why cant a black man beat a KKK member in basketball? He valued his life and didnt want to die

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What do you call an old man in his underwear with a bag of pepper on his back while licking pebbles off the sidewalk? Senile.

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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There are two cows in a field. One cow says to the other - 'Are you afraid of the mad cow disease?' The other cow says - 'No, cuz I'm a duck.'

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Ahmed walks into Abbar. He apologized and they both continued about their jobs as sales assistants at Pottery Barn.

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Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

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Q: What did the hooker say to the priest? A: That was a wonderful sermon. I look forward to next Sunday's church service.

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what do u call a 50 yr old man at disneyland a rapist

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What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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