What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A watch and a pair of socks.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red violets are red I think I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

thumb_up thumb_down -19

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's big white and can't fly? -Half of America Whats big brown and can't fly? -Crap

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why Did The Man Fall Off His Motorcycle? Because he hit a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I tried to play soccer a long time ago. I didn't score and managed to get red card... Then I realized it was not my thing

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call 1 black guy and 9 other white guys? Patrick Mills

thumb_up thumb_down -19

America

thumb_up thumb_down -19

You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock Knock Who's There Trick or Treat!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

You know whats funny about 9/11? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

how do you make a blond girl cry? kill her family

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is the difference between a mallard with a cold and you? One is a sick duck I forget how this ends, but your mother is a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is that smell? I don't know. I'm color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand asks the server to make him one with everything

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. The one stopped because the other fell off the bead and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What state is high in the middle and round on both ends? Onorth Chiarolinao

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

oh no a butt!!!!!!!!!! your stubid oh wait your right ahhhhhhhhhh

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's Tyrion Lannister short for? It's not short for anything, it's his full name.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock Knock, Who's there? Banana. Banana who? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whats harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree? my dick wile i do it

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops