'I had a surprise test today.' 'What happened?' 'I was really surprised.'

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, Knock Who's There? Not Katie.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red, lemons are sour, open your legs and give me an hour.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

thumb_up thumb_down +6

2 wales are at the bar one looks at the other and dose a wale call for 5 long minutes and the other one reply's "dude your drunk we got to go"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Donald Trump decided to run for President.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what's worse than pie? alot of things.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

"Knock knock?" "Who's there?" "Two dead kittens."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the Dildo say to the banana? Nothing, unless you're high on acid.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: How do you make Osama Bin Ladin happy? A: Take him out to a nice seafood dinner free of charge.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Hello

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did the black boy start crying when he was taking a dump? He thought he was melting

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

thumb_up thumb_down +6

,What would you call Morgan Freeman if he was White? Morgan Freeman

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? What you probably have is a lawyer on holiday with his children, allowing himself or herself to be buried in order to please said children.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, some dont

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Jesse uses a prescription shampoo called " greasey poop" because he feels like his hair doesnt look greasy enough. He cries himself asleep every night because he wants a slim body like the rest of the cool kids, so he eats his pain away, which digs him an even deeper hole. the life of Jesse zigenbein is quite tragic to say the least. Please donate 10$ to the "eat ourselves to sleep" campaign

thumb_up thumb_down +6

So you are "The Nero" are you not? How ironic... ...I got nothing on you, let me ask you however, why did you quit the underground society? What changed your lifestyle so much? I mean I accept that you did not do it out of fear or cowardice, but why did you leave it up to the rest of us to try to hold together the last remains of freedom and social information? What? To use your techniques in order to entrance people into buying your books? How is that so different? I am not saying that I consider your methods lesser, because nobody here does, but if you can explain how this makes you better, I would appreciate it, I am certain that most people would.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops