Tim is a bald headed prick with an annoying voice and he looks like a clean shaven Walter White if he was on the same drugs that he was making and he looks like he smokes too much because the wrinkles on his forehead look like lips.

Why did the man lose the spelling bee? He was mentally retarded and had no friends.

What do you call a dog with no legs? A seal.

jews

Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

What is a gremlin's favorite snack? Gremlins aren't real.

What do trees and people have in common? If you hit them enough times with an axe they will fall over.

A mermaid found a magic lamp at the bottom of the ocean. She rubbed it and a cat with 9 lives came out so he didn't drown.

what is red and smells like paint red paint

What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

dalas rof rezilitref taerg a si citsalp. Read it from right to left.

Why was Charles bleeding, because he was stabbed in the head with a needle

Why did the frog commit suicide? Because his mother was a typewriter

roses are red violets are blue daffodils are yellow pansies are pink

Why did the TV not turn off? You need to use a remote.

what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long Nothing at all

What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia And so do I..

Are you from Africa because you sure look likes you've got Ebola

What is brown and green and goes 100 mph? A tree falling down on your house.

What's better than a $75 000 salary? 80 000 sticks of celery.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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