What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

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9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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Chuck Norris.

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Whats SxB-Tin+Shack+b= SB FUCKING B

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Knock knock? Who's there? Not Schrodinger's cat, or is it?

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why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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what did the black man say to the Muslim? "you the bomb"!

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Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers who are you?

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What is big, green, fuzzy, and would kill you if it fell on you? A pool table.

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A man walks into a bar. He hasn't been there before, and it's a Friday so it's really crowded, and it's really quite a dive, so he and his girlfriend decide to leave and find somewhere else to eat.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Indiana Jones was riding on it to Pankot Palace

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What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

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If Jewish men light a menorah during Hanukkah, what do Jewish women light? Jewish women light a menorah as well; Judaism is a relatively fair religion to both sexes.

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The man said to his wife love hurts. the wife then progressed with punching in the face.

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why did the family get sick?? because i fucked a girl with a parsnip then sold the parsnip to a family with 4 small children

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A man was arguing with his wife over the phone at a trainstation. She threatened to leave him he did not stop his physical abuse. The man became so mad he hung up the phone. He then noticed a blind man was grinning at the overheard discussion. The husband walked over and pushed the blind man on the tracks. He died

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What do you call it when you take cheese that isn't yours? Stolen bitch, your under-arrest!

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Doctor Doctor, I keep getting horrible boils all over my face! Okay then. Take off your underwear and we'll see what's going on.

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Slug on ya tooth Gavin David Newman

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How do you stop a dog from digging up your garden? Every time it does so, shout at the dog so it knows it has misbehaved. Keep doing this and the dog will eventually understand the error of its ways.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who Doctor Octagonapus! BLAAAUUUUGGGHHHH

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops