How did Helen Keller burn her hands? On a candle.

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Three men walk into a bar. One of them is not planning to consume alcohol because they are responsible and he is the designated driver.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why did little Lynn fall of her bike? Because she has no legs.

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Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

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Roses are red Im adopted

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away? What about the vampires?

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Why did the man jump into the river? He wanted to go for a swim, but the pool was closed, so he swam in the river.

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why did the chicken cross the road? the sudden lack of sidewalk dictated as such.

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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? DAM!

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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whats brown and stickey? a brown stick

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What do you get when you cross a Chinese man with a dog? A happy Chinese man and a pile of dog bones.

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Why do I exist? Because my mom gave birth to me.

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I remember my first beer. It did not taste good to me at the time.

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Why did the Iraqi cross the road? Because he was hired by the CIA as an undercover operative to lead them to a highly dangerous target in the small town of Aziziyah and was leaving the area to avoid the impending Pavelow strike on the town center.

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Next time someone says "I have mad money"... Say "whys it mad"

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What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? One is a an unsightly blemish that appears on your skin and the other is a dead pop singer.

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What happened to the boy who crossed the road without looking both ways? He was abducted by aliens.

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What's the difference between a portuguese widow and a llama? One is a portuguese widow and the other isn't.

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Why don't black people listen to country music Because every time they here hoe down the think there wife just got shot No sorry for anybody who's black I luv ya don't think twice I have thirty blk friends

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What did one door say to the other door? Nothing, cause doors don't talk.

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A pope meets another one

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops