Your mother's breasts sag so low that the late great impressionist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

Q.What is black and white and red (read) all over? A. A penguin in a blender.

why is 6 scared of 7? because 7 eight 9

what is the difference between a dead baby in a bag and a dead baby hung in the yard....the dead baby hung in the yard was shot down off the cross after being rmr'd

With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

This ones for the dudes: Whats worse then having sex with a woman with no penis? Having se with a man

Why did the blond woman throw a clock out the window? She was going through a bitter divorce, and didn't want her ex-husband's things in her house anymore.

What is blue and roles about on the floor A baby playing with a plastic sack

What's the worse part about a Jewish man dying in a house fire? It was his birthday

What do you call a man who rides on unicorns? A liar. Unicorns don't exist.

Why are black people so fast? They probably practice.

Why did the chicken cross the road? An even better question is why are the chicken morals being questioned every time it feels like doing something.

Ask me if i'm a fish. Are you a fish? Do I look like a fish?

Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she is legally blind

why was the fork in the wall? Why would a fork be in a wall?

I hate it when people dont finish there sen

What's creepy about a loving couple having sex? I made them do it.

There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

5 little monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "He has a mild concussion."

so a man walks into a bar...... He has a couple laughs over some drinks then went home.

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

A Chinese man, a Mexican man and an African man walk into an American bar. None of them know any English and can not order a drink. They walk out promptly, frustrated by the difficulties of living in a strange new world where they don't speak the native language.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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