If I had a penny for every time I said the word "the" I would have AIDS

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Where did Susie go during the explosion? On her knees to catch it.

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why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice tits

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What is the worse joke to tell a Orpahn Knock Knock Whos there not your parents

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot lost control of the plane.

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Q: Whats the difference between porno and your mom? A: I can masturbate to porno

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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what is black and white and read all over? a bankrupt newspaper that cannot afford color ink because the accountant misplaced company funds.

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How do you stop a plane? Land it.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

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What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

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'l give you a nickle to tickle my pickle i'l give you a dime to take you time

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

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Why did the baby duck cry? Because his family just got ran over by a truck

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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eyebrows up means ur flirting this isnt a joke dont laugh

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A clown attends a childs birthday party. He molests 4 children and kills the others. Then leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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