What do you call Anne Franks life? A big game of hide and go seek.

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How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

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Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

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Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

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What has 2 legs and smells like fish A fish with 2 legs

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Whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Jay-z

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

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Roses are red Violets are violet Jesus Christ how dumb can you get.

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A.M.E.V.A.A A-ny M-essage E-xpressed V-ia A-cronym is A-wesome

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whats worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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what is the best way to start a car? put in the key and turn it.

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whats black and white and red all over? ...a nun in a blender

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What happened to Bilbo? He shit his pants.

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Ask me if I am a Truck Are You a Truck No

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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What is just as important as Woman's Rights? Woman's Lefts, to maintain equality.

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A man goes into a bar. He leaves drunk and beats his wife to death and burns the house and kids.

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What do you call a seedless pumpkin? A pumpkin.

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How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

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Why did the boy fall off his skateboard before running into a cross-section? Because he was shot.

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus? Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of african decent to sit in towards the front of a bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of european decent.

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"How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door." "How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door." "The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which one?" "The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator." "There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat." "You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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