A woman woke up next to her husband that was already awake. She said "F*** you" and walked out of the house. On the other side of the world, a horse is giving birth to a chihuahua.

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What do the Africans have for breakfast? Nothing.

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Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

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This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

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How Does My cat have Sex? With Me.

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Spot the mistake: a) x+2= 5 => x=3. b You.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like lead, I did a poo.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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What's facial hair? Hair that slowly progresses to grow out of certain areas on your face.

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How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

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Engage in a lively debate with a friend, and when they are about to stump you, respond to whatever they say next with "What does that have to do with the price of tea in China?"

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what did the guy think who woke up with his hands and feet nailed to a barn. IS THIS BECAUSE IM BLACK!

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What did the man with a colostomy bag say after his home was destroyed in a fire? At least all my shit’s in one place.

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What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? several.

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Whats worse than ten babies stapled to a tree? One baby stapled to ten trees.

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Roses are red Oranges are orange Nothing rhymes with orange Forever alone

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What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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Why do birds fly South in the winter? Warmer, better food sources and therefore greater chance of survival.

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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When life hands you lemons...you should probably get yourself checked out because life is an abstract idea...

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When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

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whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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