A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

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What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

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What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

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What do you call a prostitute with morals? Ironic.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground. He didn't. chickens are unsanitary to have in schools

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Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

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What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

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what happened to the little girl when she crossed the line she was shot. shes mexican

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Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

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Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

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1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

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Q: why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: He had no arms Q: Why couldn't he get up? A: He died when he hit the ground

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Mom mom momie mom mom mom mom momie mother mother. What! Hi.

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Are you from Africa because YOU GOT AIDS

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What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

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How do you silence Justin Bieber? Hold his head under water until he stops struggling.

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I recently sent 10 puns to a joke website, hoping that one of them would win a competition. Unfortunately, they were deemed offensive.

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What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

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Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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