I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

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What happened after Jimmy fell off the cliff? He died.

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can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

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what do you do when you see a black man limping across your frontyard? you stop laughing an reload.

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Wanna hear a joke? no

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Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

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Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

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knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

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What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

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Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

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A horse walks into a bar. The Barman asks "why the long face?" The horse says "My son was recently killed in a horrific horse racing accident"

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

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Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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