Q: how do you test the sharpness of a knife A: stab someone MR

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What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

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What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

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don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

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A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike they both taste good

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What's black and red? I black guy bleeding to death

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies. I'd rather had the porsche in my garage

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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3 guys get stuck in a island and find indians and the indians say the three guys have to stick 10 of the same fruits up there or they die. The first guy came back with oranges but stops at 3 then gets killed. the second had grapes and stop at 2 and gets killed. But in heaven the first guy ask why did you stop at 2 there grapes. the second guy said he saw the third with a pineapple.

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2 boy once went to a party. One boy dared the other to suck all the helium out of a balloon. Today this boy is know as Justin Bieber

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Did you here about the 2 guys who wanted to go to Paris? They didnt go!

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A bear wakes up from hibernation and is hungry. He sees a nearby forest cabin and decides to see if he can find food inside. The bear breaks into the cabin and thus the people staying there frantically run away to call animal control.

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor, beause he was feeling really crumby...becuase he has testicular cancer

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Why should you never attempt to rob Chuck Norris? Because he will beat you up as he knows self defense.

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five gay guys stand in a line is it a straight line

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Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart. I am still waiting for a transplant.....

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Having a self-conscious baluga hold a gun on you while you hand him all the money you have on you, then realizing balugas are creatures indigenous to aquatic regions, and then realizing you are deep under water and are probably about to die from suffocation

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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a black man and a Mexican are in the back seat of the car. whos driving the car? their best friend

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he knew that the neighbors wouldn't "touch him there"

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What page are you on The gay page.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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