What did the elephant say to the pelican? He didn't say anything. I lied.

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people magazine

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i had a dream last night;) it was sad because you lived but then i dreamed up a bus and made it hit you. i had a dream last night;) you died

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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There was an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman. Now there's millions of them. And women too.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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An egg and a sausage walk into a bar, and the barman says "sorry, we don't serve breakfast".

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What did the Asian say after he had a nightmare? Nothing his nightmare was actually reality and a dishwasher fell on him and killed him.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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why did the black man start crying? because his ancestors were treated horribly

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says "It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave"

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Roses are red Violets are victorious 2 in a chamber Mr pistorius

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

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Your so stupid that when during your baseball game your third base coach told you to run home, you did. The next day, you failed your test.

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why did the monkey fall out of a tree?? a snail threw a refridgerator at him

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An old man walks into a movie theater, has a stroke, and dies as his family screams for help and attempts to revive him to no avail.

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what did the duck say to the other duck Quack

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

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Write your own pointless joke on http://pointless-jokes.tk

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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Whats slower than molasses? A dead baby.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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