Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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whats brown and stick? brown paint that has not dried yet.

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I'm so hungry I could eat a horse and chase the jockey.

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my penis

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Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

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What does mickee say to other animals. Mouse

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"I see," said the deaf man, to the blind man, who had no ears.

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What do you call a black man a asian man and a mexican man? 3 people

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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what is red white and blue? the french flag

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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Knock knock. Who's there? No one, because your house burned down.

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Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

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why did the baseball player strike out? he forgot the bat

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

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whats small and blue? a suffocated baby

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Man 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Man 2: Sure. Man 1: Okay.

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Why was little Johnny crying? He is regularly raped by his father.

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whats worse than four babies in a box? one baby in four boxes

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An Irish man walks into a bar, and then realizes that he's walked into the wrong establishment (He was looking for an upscale restaurant.)

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops