I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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What did the black man say when a blond walked into the bar? " Hi Molly"

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Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Your mom.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alan okay come in

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what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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I do like haikus even when they are random refrigerator

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America's Got Talent WIN! Britian's Got Talent WIN! Mexico's Got Talent WTF!

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

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What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

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Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

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Who invented chocolate? I don't know! Keep it to yourself.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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What did the black man eat at a picnic? I don't know, I wasn't there.

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Why did the fat ugly bald Jewish man go to the bank? He needed to take out some cash because he was going out for lunch at a highly recommended restaurant.

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Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

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knock knock Goodbye

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Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? Because she is enjoying the meal her husband has prepared for her after a long day at her second full-time job of the day

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These jokes don't have punchlines.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops