What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

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So a horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" It proceeds to then crap on the floor and walk out,because its a horse.

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Do you know what Stevie Wonder's house looks like? No. Well, neither does he.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like funny jokes but I tend to ruin the punchline by just talking too much and that's probably why no one likes me and...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause you touch yourself at night;

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What's worse than a baby on a mattress? A baby under a mattress.

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If omar has 7 apples and his bus is 7 minutes early, what is the mass of the sun? Pi. Partially because the piece of paper couldnt dance with your mother.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side XD

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Why did the Jewish cross the road? He didn't he died in Holocaust.

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a blind man walks into a wall

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Yo mama is so fat she lost 100 pounds and now she's not fat.

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Q:What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

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DEAD ON KANE ITS BEEN ALL YOU ABD CAOIMHIN

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i committed murder

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm gonna screw you and you don't have a clue !

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OMG, I have a really funny alzheimer's joke. Your'e gonna love it! Uhh, I umm kinda forgot what it was now.

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When the sun goes down... Most of the guys pants goes down too. Just be straight XD

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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What's black and crunchy? CO-Co PUFFS

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what is the opposite of underpants? overpants

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What's white and black? Color blind.

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So a clown walks up to you and asks, "What'll always STICK with you? The violent disposition of humanity."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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